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What is a mail order bride?

What does “mail order bride” even mean? 

Historically, men and women published personal ads in newspapers and corresponded through letters before arranging a meeting place and time. Most couples wed the same day they met for the first time. 

The thing is, even in the good old days, women weren’t really “mail order”. They were never products, and always had an option to reject proposals (at least, in theory). A brief history would look like this:

1. 17th century. There were several massive ways of mass women migration to the US, starting back in the 17th century with English and French girls who were shipped overseas to keep the colonies alive. 
2. Early 90s. Japanese brides were a big hit at the beginning of the 20th century, but their popularity understandably waned after Pearl Harbour. 
3. Post-Vietnam War. The Vietnam War saw an influx of Vietnamese brides to the US. These days, women looking for foreign husbands use niche mail order bride websites. Unlike popular apps, these sites draw people who want to get married and are ready to tackle cross-cultural challenges. There’s no mail involved (unless you count emails), but the term prevails.

Still, foreign brides often have a bad reputation promoted by shows like 90 Day Fiancé. I won’t deny scammers prey on international daters, but do not let the skewed reality TV representation of international relationships prevent you from finding love overseas.

How does the mail order bride process work?

Don’t expect to have your mail order wife delivered within a week, marriage certificate included. International dating works much like traditional relationships, with a few minor changes to what you’d expect from mainstream dating apps. 

Step 1. Site selection 💻

I know dozens of mail order bride sites, and I know how hard it can be to choose the right one. That’s why I always recommend you sign up and test them firsthand (at least, if the registration is free and doesn’t require a credit card). 

Here’s what you should pay attention to during your trial:

• Number of potential matches and response rate
• Online reputation and user reviews
• Available toolset and your preferences
• Subscription fees and your budget
• Subscription cancellation and account deletion process
• Customer support response time and quality

Don’t try to stay active on every mail order bride service you test. Instead, focus on one or two. That should be enough to find a good match.

Step 2. Registration 👤

Registration is usually quick and easy. At most, you’ll need to input your name, date of birth, and sexual orientation, plus email and password. 

Some of the best mail order bride sites will have you complete a personality quiz right after signing up. It’ll help you fill out your profile and narrow down potential matches. You can usually skip the questions if you’d rather explore the dating pool right away. But you’ll still have to fill out your profile if you want maximum outreach. Focus on quality photos and interesting tidbits. Be genuine and open, show your sense of humor, but avoid one-liners that don’t translate well.

Step 3. Search and communication ✉️

You can either go the direct route of using search filters or experiment with swiping. The former will produce a list of profiles that match your requirements, while the latter suggestions are random.

Once you find the best mail order brides who check every box on your list, start chatting. Get to know each other better, swap photos and videos. It’s not as good as going out on dates, but you can still build a strong foundation for a relationship without meeting in person.

Step 4. Offline meeting ✈️

After a few months, when you’re sure you’ve found the right woman, talk about meeting in person. It’s usually easier for you to visit your girlfriend than to bring her to you, but meeting in a third country on vacation is also a possibility. It’s the best option if you’re looking for Ukrainian women for marriage, since traveling to Ukraine remains a huge risk during the ongoing Russian invasion.

Use your first meeting to see how your online chemistry translates to the real world. If your feelings only strengthen after the first date, you can discuss your future. It might take a few more trips to solidify your relationship before you’re ready to propose.

Step 5. Engagement and marriage 💍

If you get an enthusiastic “Yes” in response to your proposal, decide where and when you want to get married. Most countries allow and recognize international marriages, but it might be easier to formalize your relationship on US soil than to have your overseas ceremony recognized. This step is typically the longest and most nerve-racking, but once you’re through, you can finally start your new life together.

Why do men look for mail order brides?

Everyone agrees that dating is getting harder. Social media breeds unrealistic expectations and ruins social skills, fostering the loneliness epidemic, especially among men of all ages. 

Surveys show these are the major reasons driving men toward international dating:

• Men can’t find common ground with local women who fall prey to the woke propaganda.
• Republican men have an especially hard time connecting with women because of opposing political views.
• Guys want feminine women who’d like to settle down and raise kids instead of climbing the career ladder.
• Many turn to international dating after ugly breakups and divorces, disappointed by their experiences.
• Some want to try something new, step outside their comfort zone, and experience new cultures.

There’s this stereotype that only desperate guys use mail order brides sites, but that’s patently untrue. International dating enriches your life, and even while it poses new challenges, it brings along multiple rewards.

Benefits and challenges of mail order brides

So, are mail order wives better than local partners? That’s for you to decide. I can only share a few things I heard guys in mixed couples mention.

Ultimately, every relationship has its ups and downs. How happy you are in your marriage will mostly depend on your communication skills and willingness to compromise, not your wife’s origin.

Is it legal to get a mail order bride?

Quick reminder: a legit mail order bride is an adult, unrelated to you, free from previous marriages and unions, and capable of giving consent.

Once you find her, propose, and have her accept your proposal, the hoop-jumping begins. Here’s how it works if you’re an American citizen and want to bring your bride Stateside to get married:

1. File a Petition for an alien fiancé (Form I-129F). It costs $675. Wait for it to be approved. It takes from 3 months to over 2 years.
2. Have your bride apply for a nonimmigrant visa  (Form DS-160). The filing fee is usually around $300, and she’ll have to pay more for a medical exam and vaccinations (if necessary).
3. Help your fiancé move to the US. You’ll have 90 days to get married under the K-1 visa requirements. You can apply for a marriage license and get married at a courthouse within a few weeks.
4. Have your wife apply for adjustment of status and (Form I-485, $1,440) and employment authorization (Form I-765, $520).

I suggest you read all the I-129F requirements carefully and take your time collecting information and paperwork. If you have any concerns, consult an immigration attorney; it’ll save you time in the long run.

Tips for a successful relationship with a mail order bride

No two relationships are alike, but these simple tricks should help you avoid major pitfalls.

1. Do your homework

Research is vital if you want to avoid misunderstandings and arguments with a foreign bride. You can use resources like Cultural Atlas or Reddit threads. You can also ask your girlfriend about her culture, but be careful to avoid judgment in your questions.

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2. Build a schedule, but keep it flexible

Regular and predictable engagements are vital for long-distance relationships, but it also helps to mix in fun activities and surprises to keep your interactions from turning stale. 

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3. Do things together even when you’re apart

Start a show at the same time and make fun of it. Cook dinner (or breakfast) in real-time, or start your own two-person book club to discuss the latest titles. The more quality time you spend together, the stronger your relationship will grow. 

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4. Make plans for your future together

It can be tough to wait out the legal process. When things feel desperate, discuss what you’ll do once you move in together. Talk about renovation plans, putting in a nursery, or taking your first vacation as a married couple. 

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5. Don’t ignore an elephant in the room

Discuss things you usually wouldn’t, like religion, politics, and money. These can cause huge troubles in your relationship, so it’s better to get them out of the way early on. For example, discuss whether you want your future wife to get a job and contribute to the family income or not.

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Mail order brides vs. Traditional dating: What’s the difference?

One isn’t better than the other. Traditional dating has its merits, especially if you’re a sociable person and haven’t yet exhausted the potential of the local dating pool. On the other hand, international dating opens up a world of new possibilities. It’s the best way to find a Filipino, Ukrainian, or Colombian wife, meet lots of potential matches fast, and move things toward marriage at a fast clip. 

Here’s a brief overview of the differences between traditional and international dating in practical terms:

Parameter	Mail order bride dating	Traditional dating
Dating pool	Unlimited	Limited to your location
Motivations	Long-term relationship or marriage	Casual or serious dating
First contact	Easy	Moderate to hard
Biggest issues	Time difference and language barrier	Social and communication skills, scheduling conflicts, and driving distance
Time to proposal	6 to 12 months	1 to 3 years
Expenses	Online dating fees, international travel, and visa charges	Weekly dates, birthday gifts, weekend getaways, trips, etc.

To be fair, not even the best legit mail order bride sites can compare with offline dating. So it’s up to you to make the most of the tools they offer and transition your relationship to in-person dates as soon as possible.

Conclusion

International dating can become the new norm in the globalized world. Considering all the benefits you reap, overcoming the challenges of cross-cultural relationships to meet the best foreign brides and build your bright future together is worth a little effort. Start by taking the first step and choosing the right dating site to meet your future missus. 

FAQ

1. How much does a mail order bride cost?

You cannot “buy” a mail order bride. Speaking of the cost of international dating, it depends on which site you choose, your dating destination, relationship duration, and your preferences. On average, expect to spend no less than $5,000 from the first message to getting married.

2. Which countries are best for finding a mail order bride?

The Philippines, Vietnam, and India are among the top Asian dating destinations. Ukrainian and Polish women are the most popular among Slavic mail order brides, while Mexican, Colombian, and Brazilian girls are standouts among Latinas.

3. Are mail order bride websites safe to use?

Yes, as long as you follow basic online safety guidelines. Most sites only host legit mail order brides and have member verification and anti-scam policies in place. But if you notice any suspicious activity, make sure to block the user and report abuse.

4. How long does it take to bring a mail order bride to your country?

It’s a lengthy process that usually takes around a year. It will take longer if your relationship does not satisfy local regulations or you don’t have your paperwork in order. Recent changes in the US policies can also make relocation to the US more challenging for some girls.

5. Can a mail order bride truly fall in love with you?

Sure. The more time you spend together and the more good memories you share, the more likely your bride is to fall in love with you. Besides, it’s not passion but affection and partnership that sustain relationships in the long term.

6. What are the chances of success in a marriage with a mail order bride?

There’s no hard data on international marriage stability, and there are too many factors to consider to draw any conclusions from surveys. You can expect the average success rate to be around average in your country, but remember that the first marriage typically lasts the longest.